Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Facing the Unknown

A recent theme in my life is about facing the unknown. It's everywhere in my life right now, shaking me out of the road hypnosis of purring along smoothly and driving in my comfort zone. It's the new media at work in the studio. It's the client situation for my day job. It's embracing social media (Twitter, etc.) in my work life.

For the most part, I am really embracing this change and very happy to see it. I would be less than honest if I didn't say that from time to time, I get a bit scared about all of the changes. After those moments pass, I realize that feeling comes from the places where I've built my sense of security on something outside of myself. If my security is from having money in the bank, and my bank balance starts to drop, my security is shaken. If my security comes from having client work contracted out a few years in advance, and those dates come and go, my security is shaken. If my security comes from doing things the way I already know how to do them, and I have to switch to new tools and new strategies, my security is shaken.

For the most part, I feel I've done a great job in the last decade to really place my security where it belongs and not in these external things. I've been living a really peaceful and serene life, in spite of the normal rough times we all encounter in life. I've been through a serious illness, the extended illness of a family member, the deaths of several family members and close friends, the end of a relationship, and the purchase of my first home. With each of these, I went through a natural grieving process, letting go of the old, embracing the unknown of the future, and then finding my way into the new world. I've also discovered that it is easy to settle back into a comfortable routine after some major shakeups, too. But I'm really pleased at how well I've done in all aspects of managing my own security.

I'm at an interesting crossroad. I am in the processing of deciding what I want to be next (not what I want to be when I grow up... that will never happen!). I'm making choices now that will determine who I become next. That includes what kind of work I will do next. The opportunity for me is this: to take what I've learned so far, to see what I might want to do next, and figure out a vision for how I can reuse my skills to make that vision my new reality. It's a fun time, with a few scary moments. But it's a fun time.


M said...

Hi Charlene,

I love the quote. I'm so glad we're a household of strong swimmers! Thank you for your encouraging words. My appointment today help me purge so much of the negative energy and then the Chicklet and I had a nice dinner and a visit to the book store.

Your thoughts on security are really eloquent. It provides much for for thought. Thank you for sharing your journey.


Paris Cowgirl said...

Beautiful quote! Love your writing!

Regina said...

Thanks Charlene for you nice comment on my blog. It really means a lot to me! Since my blog is rather unknown until now, or so I guess, I sometimes have a feeling of blogging into the air, just for myself. But it probably takes time and I like to do it, so I simply go on this way. Have added you to my faves too.
Have a nice weekend!

CeCe said...

Thank you for sharing YOU! Thank you for visiting me so I could find YOU! Hope to meet you someday in one of Carol Wingert's classes.

Heartinmyhand said...

Charlene, you seem to have a wonderful outlook on life. Very inspiring.