Wednesday, August 20, 2008

I am Intransigent

I have two reactions to my new art journal and the art journaling process.

First, at the highest level, I realize that I've taken a step into a larger world and started a huge journey by taking just this one little baby step.

Second, I'm a bit shocked each time I turn the page and stare at all of that whiteness. I've learned to overcome the snow blindness of the page when I write, so I'm confident that I'll also overcome it here. I also realize this is the work, every day, to face the whiteness and take yet another baby step.

I'm totally in an experimenting stage with everything in my studio. I'm learning how the tools work. I'm learning how they interact. I'm learning how to use them and not use them. I'm trying things that I like and I don't like. I feel like a total beginner stepping fully into this realm. In every other enterprise in my life, I've reached some level of mastery from years of work and practice. Everything is fresh with the studio. Yes, I feel the advantage of the years of art in my life. I have ideas and my eye looks for things it likes, things that feel right. I'm just learning how to express these ideas, and learning how to put things together so I like the result. There's something freeing about being a beginner again in my life. It's a bit like walking in the woods after a snowfall and leaving the first footprints. (There is that snow blindness image again.)

Today, I made two entries, two very different experiments. I laid out the start of the background by using one of my new fabric stamps from India that I picked up at the Tesuque Flea Market. I just wanted to see how it would stamp using acrylic paint. The first impression went well, so I decided to lay out a background of them. After it dried, I watered down another color and painted it over the images. While that was drying, I grabbed a dictionary I keep in the studio and randomly opened it to the entry for "intransigent." It means unwilling to compromise. I love that idea, it completely resonates with me and my art journal. I added additional words that express my reaction to this word and my commitment to keeping this journal.

Many years ago, I learned how to make and keep a promise to myself. That may not seem like a life milestone to many people, but it was huge in my life, and changed so much of my inner dialog. I promised myself to start this journal, and I did it.

Something else I've learned in my life: baby steps are important. No matter how small the act, taking action in a direction changes everything. It sets you in motion, it starts building momentum. It signals the universe that you are serious, that you have your eyes open and you choose deliberately to move in a new direction. In my life, it always seems that the angels come rushing in at this point. If feels like every guide and every keeper and every fairy along the road come running out like the Munchkins in the Wizard of Oz when Dorothy steps on the yellow brick road. They laugh with glee and cheer me on because they know that the greatest part of this life is the journey, and that each step taken consciously, with open eyes and heart, and with aligned intentions is a moment of heaven on earth. Who wouldn't cheer for that?!


Anonymous said...

love the colors you have picked for the journal... gee it kinda looks like the colors on your blog... hmm... looking forward to sunday! Melissa

Paris Cowgirl said...

How wonderfully written, and how true!

MagiCatGlass=^..^= said...

Nicely put. I personally strive to not be realistic, which normally emerges because I crave order and rules. I also take very little in the way of instruction, just the basics, so I learn to express my own heart and being not just copy someone else's style. I love watercolor and glass because they will do what they will do. You can make them be exact like painting watercolor in a dry brush style, or making things of stained glass... but once you add water or heat they will do what their nature tells them to do... I can only point in a direction and watch as the medium becomes a partner in creation instead of a tool.
Keep up the good work!

Heartinmyhand said...

Thanks for stopping by. Your journal pages are looking great. Baby steps are important. Especially in our instant gratification world. Hang in there